


I Don't Want To Be Alone

by nikerek



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 00:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikerek/pseuds/nikerek
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: Hi. For fanfic inspiration how about Bucky Barnes and Female reader both coping with after reviving from the snap and Steve’s choice. Romance too btw





	I Don't Want To Be Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: I’ve never written “Interest” x Reader before. I wasn’t 100% sure how to go about it. But it was fun. It was also my first superhero fanfic. Thanks, Anon! 
> 
> P.S. I know it’s bad, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

It’s been a few months since everyone returned. Your family is back; your friends are back, but there’s still a part of you that hasn’t returned. You tap your foot and cross your arms as you listen to the group pass stories. A few stopped coming here after everyone returned, even Steve. You wonder if you still go because you know that’s what he would have wanted - all of us here, all of us together, until we’re ready to part ways.

You tuck a loose strand of  hair behind your ears and sit up straighter, getting ready for your turn to speak. But a figure enters the room, stealing everyone’s attention. Unsure of whether to be relieved or annoyed, you lean back and stare at this vaguely familiar face shrouded in messy black hair.

“Hi. I’m Bucky B-”

One of the group members stood up, “You’re Winter Soldier.” The rest of the group went ridgid. 

“Yeah. A lot has happened. But I was close with Steve. I’m glad to see you’re still meeting. He would have wanted that.”

The man who identified Bucky remained standing. “Are you here to check up on us?”

“No, I’m just here to find some peace in what’s possibly left of my best friend.”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, noticing the way he crossed his arms to cover the metal hand sticking out of the black hoodie sleeve. 

The group shuffled to get a chair for him and make room. He sat opposite of you, a brief glance was exchanged as he looked at everyone. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please, continue.”

Gary noticed your nervous habits, “Hey, how have you been holding up?”

Your foot starts tapping again as you stare at the floor. You’ve done your best to explain your emotions before, how Thanos isn’t the reason you’re hurting and the Avengers haven’t done anything to fix what you’re going through. It sounds silly compared to why everyone else came to this group, but you were damaged long before these otherworldly events took place. “I feel the same. But now my therapist is back to tell me she’s proud of me for coming to this group.”

Gary leans forward, “That was a big step for all of us. And I’m glad to see so many faces still coming here. Just because everyone is back doesn’t mean all of our problems are feelings are immediately fixed.”

You avert your eyes from everyone else “Yeah, that’s really all.” 

“Well, everyone. I guess that’s it. Unless Bucky, you have anything to share?”

“Not today.” 

Gary stood up, with everyone taking the lead. “Next week, everyone. Until then, take care of yourselves.” 

You lingered when you noticed Bucky never moved. “I miss him, too. Knowing him was the silver lining of this whole mess.” Bucky stared at you and nodded slightly. “Wanna grab some coffee?

You put up the hood to your zip up sweater as as you stepped into the cold night air. It was still strange to see so many people walking around. You walk in silence through the crowded streets when Bucky stops suddenly. He looks into the cloudy windows of a dive bar, “You know, we use to go to a place like this.”

You walked in without a word; he quickly followed behind you. “I thought you wanted to get coffee.” 

You sat on an empty stool at the end of the bar and watched him take a seat beside you. “If I’m behind honest, I’m just tired of being alone.”

The bartender took your orders. His was a classy whiskey on the rocks. Yours was a Jack and Coke because you couldn’t stand whiskey on its own.

He took a sip and pushed his hair out of his face. You tried not to think about his metal arm. Your nerves kept you silent as you drank faster than expected.

He smirked, “Well if that’s how it’s going to be…” He sucked down his whiskey and ordered a second round. 

“So how’s it feel being an international threat to a hero?” You sipped through the tiny straw, feeling less nervous with each gulp.

He held his glass, his thumb sweeping around the condensation. “Surreal. What’s it feel like being a civilian?”

“Other than the existential dread that aliens are going to wipe out the planet at any moment, pretty mundane.” You felt the beginning fuzz of the alcohol sweep across your brain. “You know, you get the boring worries about work, and bills, and whether or not you’ll find someone willing and capable of sharing the load. Until you realize that no one can or will share the weight of all your worries.” You finished your drink. His hair back in front of his face.

“All we ever want out of life is to do some good. Then you meet people like Steve Rogers who defines doing good and then you wonder how you could ever live up to it.” He waved to the bartender for a third round.

“I’ve never met someone who could simultaneously bring out your best qualities and make you feel like you’re not good enough.”

A grin spread across his lips. He looked at you and you wondered when the last time he smiled was. “I don’t think knowing him could be summed up any better.” He leaned closer and told a story from before Steve became Captain America. You studied his face; how his eyes seemed bright to talk about his missed friend. You laughed with him, forgetting how unnatural it had felt to smile. 

Another round of drinks went by as you relished in his stories. You sat on the edge of your seat, your knees hitting every so often as Bucky became an animated storyteller. You both laughed hard, tears hanging in your glazed eyes. 

A fifth round was called for, but the world was already a blur for you. You took a deep breath and a shallow sip. You looked up at him, your knees now interlocked. “He talked about you.”

His face got serious. 

“I think he’d want you to know that he was always trying to live up to you, too.”

He stared at you, his lips parted slightly. 

You felt the knots in your stomach build up. You quickly reached into your pocket and placed your cash onto the bar. “I should get going.” You felt as though you floated to the door. The cold air didn’t help to make you feel less dizzy. 

You started to walk home and stumbled after a few steps. You felt someone grab you. 

“Sorry, I kept ordering. Can I make sure you get home safe?” Bucky kept squeezed your shoulders lightly to make sure you could stand properly.

“Yeah, okay.”

“How far do you live from here? Want me to get you a cab?”

“A few blocks from here. Yeah, that’d probably be best.”

He hailed a cab as he kept a hand under your elbow to keep you steady.

You slurred your address to the driver as Bucky slid into the car beside you.

You closed your eyes to avoid the motion sickness of the passing lights and signs. Bucky kept his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and stayed close to you. You rested your head on his shoulder, disappointed that the night was about to end, disappointed that you were this drunk. 

The cab driver pulled over and announced the fair. You pulled more money out of your pocket and said “Keep the change.” He helped you up the steps to the door of your building. 

“What floor do you live on?”

“The fourth.”

He smirked, “Tell me there’s an elevator.”

“No.”

“I said I’d make sure you got home safe. Let me walk you up.” 

You smiled and gripped his arm as you entered the building.

Four flights later, you felt like you’d run a marathon. He got you to your door and watched you fumble with your keys. 

“I’m starving,” you mumble as you finally get the right key in place and open the door.

“I’m a pretty good cook.”

You stopped in the doorway and looked up with wide hopeful eyes, “Bucky Barnes, will you make me some eggs.”

He laughed and nodded, following you in.

You set your keys on the counter and sat on the barstool. You folded your arms and rested your head on the table. “I don’t know where anything is.”

“I think I can figure it out.” 

You could hear him fumbling around the kitchen. A clank hit the counter in front of you. 

“First, drink this and take these.” He’d found your aspirin and set down a large glass of water. “Trust me, that now will help you later.” 

You noticed he’d shed his black sweater. He wore a simple v neck t-shirt. You stared at his metal arm as he cracked eggs into a pan. You took the aspirin and chugged the entire glass of water. You were nowhere near sober, but the spinning was starting to slow down. 

He took your glass and refilled it. “You like coffee?”

“Mmhmm.” You answered while drinking more water.

You watched him move through the kitchen, preparing what could either be the best or worst breakfast you’ve ever had. Bucky left all the cabinet doors open, making it easier for him to find things as he needed. 

“Start with this.” He set down a plate of toast and a cup of coffee. He went back to continue scrambling the eggs and hit his forehead on the corner of a cabinet door. You choked on your coffee. He continued his task. “You didn’t see that.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, The Winter soldier.”

He shook his head and laughed.

A few minutes later a hot plate of cheesy scrambled eggs and more toast sat in front of you. He leaned on the counter island and you looked up at him. Your voice soft, you thanked him.

“Truth be told, I didn’t want to be alone either.”

You smiled and took a deep breath. “Alright, time to see how good of a cook you are.” 

He laughed, “Well the Army did teach me more than just how to shoot.” He picked up your fork and took a bite. “Mmm. This is one of my better batches.” He picked up a few more pieces of egg.

“Well, hey now, I believe you made those for me.” 

Bucky held out the fork towards you and grinned. You leaned forward, watching him, and consumed the eggs off the fork. Your eyes widened, “Okay, you’re pretty damned good.” You took the fork from his hand and ate another bite.

He laughed and rushed to your side of the island, sitting on the second stool. He tried to take the fork back, but you swiveled around and ate another bite.

“Okay, okay.” You said, before taking a sip of coffee to wash the food down. You swiveled back towards him, your legs touching. He rested his metal arm on the island and watched you as you held out a fork full of eggs towards him. 

Bucky was still for a moment, the grin fading from his lips. He took the fork from your hand and set it on the plate. You bit your lip briefly as he leaned closer to you. You closed your eyes and felt his soft lips against yours. Without thinking, you leaned into it the kiss, and set your hands on his knees to hold yourself up. His metal fingers brushed against your arm. 

Your inner thighs squeezed his knees while your palms pressed into them harder as you moved closer to him. 

Bucky placed his hand on the back of your neck. He stood; his lips never leaving yours, you followed his lead. The counter pushed into your back as he pressed his body against you. Your heart beat faster; you tugged at the back of his shirt. He pressed his pelvis against you; you let out a soft, needy moan and dug your fingertips into his back. 

You broke away, “Wait.”

He stepped back, his cheeks red. “Oh, I’m sor-”

“No, no no.” You kicked off your shoes. “Not here.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him into your bedroom. You stopped near the bed and kissed him again. 

Bucky unzipped your sweatshirt and pushed it off your shoulders. You felt a slight chill across your barely covered chest and arms. The string lights hanging behind your bed gave off a soft glow that reflected off of his arm. You gripped his arms and spun him toward the bed; he followed the pressure from your hands and sat down, watching you eagerly.

You straddled him and reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. His hands traveled down your arms to your back, pulling your shirt up. Bucky slid his hands under your shirt and up your back. His metal hand was cold and smoother than you expected. He tossed your top to the floor and trailed kisses down your neck. You rolled your hips against him. 

“I’ve never hated clothes more.” You whispered toward the ceiling. You broke away from him and stood, unzipping your jeans. Again, he followed your lead and undressed. Sudden shyness stopped you for a moment as you stared at his bare skin in the soft light. 

Bucky stepped close to you and lifted your chin, forcing you to look up. You expected a kiss, but he just stared into your eyes, his lips slightly parted. He slipped his fingers beneath the waist of your jeans and beneath the hemline of your boyshorts; he pushed the fabric down your hips. Your eyes were wide with anticipation. He reached down a little further, his lips close to yours as you felt your clothes call to the floor. Leaving your lips wanting, he kissed your neck and unclasped your bra. He pushed the straps from your shoulders and let it fall to the floor between you. 

His hands traveled across your bare skin. You closed your eyes and bit your lip. “Lay down,” he whispered in your ear. Your heart fluttered at the gentle command. 

You rested your head on the pillows and watched him crawl towards you. 

His body hovered over yours briefly while he pushed a knee between yours. Pushing your legs apart, he rested against you and put a hand in your hair. You ached, growing impatient. You dragged your fingers lightly along his bare sides and moved your hips towards him. 

Bucky smirked and kissed your lips. “Okay, I’ll stop making you wait.” You grinned in response. He moved himself inside you. You sharply sucked in a breath and tilted your head back. He leaned his head forward, you could feel his hot breath against your neck.

It was a blur of kisses, soft bites, and pleasure you hadn’t felt in a very long time. You lay breathless beside each other. The cool night air slipping in the drafty windows. You wriggled the sheets from beneath you and covered up. “So, will you be at next week’s meeting?”

His brows drew inward and looked at the ceiling. “Oh.”

You turned your head to look at him, “What?”

“Are you kicking me out?” A nervous grin tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Oh, no, I just thought, I guess I assumed.” You stammered.

Bucky turned on his side and propped himself up on his metal arm, “Because if it’s alright with you, I still don’t feel like being alone.”

You looked back into his dark brown eyes, “Stay.”


End file.
